Groovy retro design needed for tour merch tote bag

C'est ce que Southern Laughing LLC recherchait dans leur graphic design

We need a design for a 2 sided tote bag we will be selling as tour merch. It should be a retro/groovy design circa 1970s.
SIDE ONE should have the following text in retro vintage font with vintage/retro design elements:
"Suck it up. Blow on it. Walk it off. Rub some dirt on it. Bleed over the sink. Let the dog lick it, it will heal faster."
Alternative text option, just "Rub Some Dirt On It" so it can take up more room.

SIDE TWO should be a cassette tape with tangled tape coming out of it and a pencil in the hole (example attached but please feel free to use your own style). The tangle in the uploaded example says "Karen Morgan Comedy" but it doesn't have to say that. Thanks!

Imprint Area: Suggested Size: 14”W x 11”H Max Size: 16”W x 11.5”H (Either works for us)
Tote Color: Natural cotton Voir plus